As I was getting on the bus this morning, I overheard two university students talking behind me. One of them said
“I was talking with her the other day about marriage. How can you ever really know if the person you are going to marry is the right one for you? You can’t. That’s why there is so much divorce. I never want to get divorced. I don’t think I’d get married.”
This made me think. I almost turned around to join the conversation, to correct them. I believe you can know, you can, with your whole heart. I can’t tell you how, but when you feel it you are just so sure. Sure like you have never been about anything else in your life. More sure than you ever thought you could be about anything.
As for those who get divorced, well, that’s heartbreaking. But for me, either they weren’t sure in the first place, or they have given up. Marriage isn’t always easy and it isn’t always perfect. When I think about marriage, about relationships, my mind always goes back to Scrubs.
Relationships don’t work the way they do on television and in the movies. Will they? Won’t they? And then they finally do, and they’re happy forever. Gimme a break. Nine out of ten of them end because they weren’t right for each other to begin with, and half of the ones who get married get divorced anyway, and I’m telling you right now, through all this stuff, I have not become a cynic, I haven’t. Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate covered candies and, y’know, in some cultures, a chicken. You can call me a sucker, I don’t care, because I do believe in it. Bottom line is: couples who are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is they don’t let it take them down. One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time. If it’s right, and they’re real lucky, one of them will say something.
That says it all, doesn’t it? Everyone goes through the same issues. But if you’re sure, with absolutely everything within you, then you will fight for it. When you agree to be with someone for the rest of your life, you are agreeing to fight for it. To walk beside them. Either you are willing to keep on fighting, or you aren’t.
As for saying you wouldn’t get married because you don’t want to get divorced, let me share with you one of my all time favourite quotes.
There is no living in love without some sorrow, but the greatest sorrow is not to love.
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